Dear Suicide,
I’ve come to know a few things about you. You are a liar. I don’t need ways out of my life. I need life now more than ever. You give me false pretenses and thoughts that “others don’t know, don’t care and could never understand.” However, that is not true at all.
I did not choose my parents, the day I entered this Earth and, God knows, my creator never intended me to choose when I leave the Earth. I’ll leave that day, also, to my creator! I will not quit reaching, praying and extending my faith past my circumstances. Yes, faith is where I will stand. No matter the darkness that I perceive that encompasses me, there is light. I can remember every single time I’ve felt love and given love… I must live to give love and will no longer think to honor you.
Suicide, you are a liar. I rebuke you and command you remove yourself from my thoughts and my presence as you are truly the enemy of life, love and redemption. My story does not end here.
As long as my body has life inside of it, I know that my creator has a purpose for me and I will bow to no other calling than the call to live in faith. Faith in tomorrow, faith in love, and faith in my creator.
I can be an example of redemption, care and love. I will never surrender. Love rules my heart. I have to go now. Life is waiting for me!
Goodbye you liar. Goodbye!
Truly not yours,
Me
If you have thought about suicide or ending your life, are suicidal and you read this and would like to talk to someone about your situation, we’d love to talk and walk with you every step of the way! Today is a brand new day. You need to know that you are loved!
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1-800-273-8255
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Amazing and well said! Thank you!
Thank you, Michael!
Question to anyone willing to hear it? What do you do when the organizations that “claim” they are out there to help you listen to your story hear the pain, agony and tears in your voice and after listening to your story of abuse, struggling and torment just shrug it off when there best b.s cookie cutter text book answers don’t work for your enique specific situation and the final answer to your questions, pleading and begging for help is an “oh well” kinda additude cause there isn’t anything more they can do, want to do, there aren’t services in your area or aren’t laws in place to stop the abuse and pain. Been through dozens of places. When I first thought about suicide I even called the suicide hot line (🤣 what f***ing joke). So i ask when one is done with the horrible abuse and mistreatment of ones life at the hands of others because of your disability, sexual orientation or beliefs and your civil rights/legal rights have been violated and nobody wants to help then what? What’s the magic number to get the help you need? The only help number I can come up with so far is .45 because no matter how many times a perfessional individual can try smile and say in a sympathetic voice (bordering on mock pity sometimes) “it’s going to be alright” deep inside the victim knows d*mn good and well it ain’t. Maybe we can or should just lump it all in with mental health make the victims believe there is something mentally wrong and a counselor and a 5 gallon bucket of anti depression pills oughta fix everything (lol…but trust me no it won’t) so I ask as I sit with my number….what next?
Please send me an email with your contact information right now. zech.gilbert@namiccns.org
the reason for me is because I have imagination and reality problem with my thoughts so everything seems to go alright in my head but not in reality.I am living in a country that i have to hide many parts of my real self and do something that I do not love to do.I can not get out of this situation or immigrate to any other country because I do not have the money and enough skills to make my dream come true. My parents do not care about what I think and they just want me to have a simple life and do not say anything so this prison breaks me and my soul every single day!
Justin, only the mind can build a prison. One of the greatest men to walk the Earth did his greatest work within the walls of a real prison. He held onto faith and knew that he would simply serve where he stood. And that’s what he did. He made friends with the prison guards and all knew him to be a great man. Many times we can’t see that we’re on mission no matter the circumstances. Keep on task, keep believing and don’t look back! One day you’ll encounter new circumstances and those too will fall away. Be you and fight the good fight!
Since writing this article I’ve seen two more friends gone to suicide. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m sorry for the families. It hurts to see my friends in such pain. I want to tell you about them. Why? Because they are gone but still live in the people they left behind. It’s a different kind of memory that etches only questions and leaves a sad stain behind. It’s not good. It only burns and torments the ones left behind. I want you to know this. I want their names to live to save those reading this, those that are thinking of suicide and those that are at the breaking point.
Julian Torres, you were only 15 years only. I watched you as a kid and introduced you to my children. I dropped you off at school and picked you up. You were so damn smart! Your mother and father are hurting mightily. Your Mother slept in your bed for months after you left, just so she could smell you and feel close to you.
Aric Cumby. You were and always will be my Army brother. That night, on our long road march, you were dehydrated and could barely make it. I carried your ruck sack so you didn’t have to. I had my ruck sack on my back and your in the front. I’d do that 100 times over for you again to save your life. You were my best friend in those moments. Those moments play in my head over and over again. I carried you, you carried me through. We reconnected only 5 months before you ended your life. Your wife and kids are still hurting. The fire department raised flags for you, a Veteran of 27 years. I only wish I could have been there for you to carry your load one more time. One more time, that’s all I could ever wish for. As I’m writing this I can’t hold back the tears.
Please, if you are reading this and are thinking of suicide, stand down, sit down and breathe. Leave a note in the comments, call 988, call me. Call your family, let them know you are hurting and simply need a hug. This too, shall pass. Please remember, you are loved!